did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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