**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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