This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
