Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize