Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
