He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
