real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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