I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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