the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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