I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
