I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
