Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
