I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
