Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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