i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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