Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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