And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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