i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
