i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
