your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize