I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
