Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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