I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
