Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
