It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize