she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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