i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
