And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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