walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
