I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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