you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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