singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
