next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
