I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
