he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ugly people sure do ruin things
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
