Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
