I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
