Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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