i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
