After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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