loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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