i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
whose ass print is on the piano?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
