She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
