Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
