I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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