Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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