3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
