so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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