Your tits are I can't wait for
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
