Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
