I got her a Nickelback box set.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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