try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
