she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
