For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
