Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
