She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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