So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
