i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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