My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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