You work out of a Hotel?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
