All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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