It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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