No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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