You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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