so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
