Swine flu. Run for my life!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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