I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize